Last year I gave birth to twins. Baby A had to stay at the hospital for more than a month, while Baby B got to come home right away. As you can imagine, this was a challenging time for me, for the babies, and for my whole family. I was recovering from giving birth, I had a healthy newborn to feed and care for, I was pumping breastmilk around the clock to give to the hospital-bound newborn, and I was taking the healthy twin with me to and from the hospital to spend every day with both newborns.
My sisterwife Melissa had her own struggles with what was happening, but instead of shrinking from the challenge, she leveled up and helped me in the best ways she could.
Here are the 4 biggest ways Melissa helped me when I had the twins.
- Pumping
- Food
- Baby stuff
- Child care
1. Helped me pump breastmilk for Baby A
The biggest way Melissa helped was by being my teammate in tackling the challenge of pumping breastmilk.
I had never pumped before, but Melissa has both personal and professional experience pumping. She also had a breast pump and a large collection of pump parts and accessories. She generously shared with me her expertise and her supplies.
Not only that, but she signed herself up to wash all my pumping supplies on a daily basis. This was an amazing service for me. Pumping milk for a baby in the NICU is a full-time job, and she removed the burden of washing the pump parts. Many times every day and night, I pumped and prepared the milk for my inpatient newborn. I sent all the dirty pump parts over to Melissa’s kitchen. With her own young children underfoot, she washed them, sterilized them, and assembled them into clean, labeled bags for me to use the next day.
I am very grateful for her help in all of this. Kudos to the women who pump full-time without so much support.
2. Cooked good food for me
Melissa cooked nutritious food for me for several months during my postpartum period. She either served hot meals to me for breakfast, or packed them and sent them with me to the hospital. Honestly, I’ve never eaten better! Without such generous help, I probably would have lived on trail mix and jerky.
All that good food helped me recover from giving birth, produce plenty of breastmilk for two hungry nursing babies, and have the strength and energy for every demanding day, with one less thing to worry about.
I was blessed to have a sisterwife who volunteered to cook for me during those months.
3. Curated baby items for the twins
Melissa is good at collecting things like baby carriers, swaddles, and baby blankets. As a result, she has a nice assortment of baby items she’s letting me use.
These items have both form and function, and she prioritizes quality over quantity. For instance, we now have an extensive collection of baby wraps in cute colors from our favorite brand. She shops secondhand and is exceptional at spotting a good deal.
When I needed something she didn’t already have, she put in the legwork to hunt for it, and in some cases even picked up the items for me.
4. Helped take care of my toddler
During the 5 weeks Baby A was inpatient, Melissa took my toddler on most days for two hours to go to fun places or just hang out with her and her young children. Besides that official time frame, I have no doubt he was over in her house often, eating her food and doing whatever interesting activities the other littles were doing.
My toddler has done surprisingly well with the transition to being an older brother to twins (not to mention having his mother gone to the hospital so much), and I believe it’s due in part to having so many people in the home watching out for him and providing more stability than I could give him on my own.
These are just the four biggest ways Melissa helped me in the period right after the twins were born. Sisterwives are (or ought to be) teammates, not rivals. Who doesn’t want another loved one in their corner, another person on their team?
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