My Story

I grew up LDS. I was monogamous for 11 years. I used to detest polygamy, and at one point I was even convinced that Joseph Smith didn’t practice it and D&C 132 was fabricated by Brigham Young. Now I’m happily married to a man who has another wife, I live in a house with a layout meant for polygamists, and I have a blog about polygamy. How did I get here? Who is this person?  I never thought my life would turn out like this!

Here is my story, in bits and pieces, told as well as I know how to tell it. (Hyperlinks will continue to be added as the story is written.)

  • My faithful LDS upbringing
  • A story about a primary teacher ignoring Jacob’s polygamy
  • How Joshua and I met
  • Our courtship and monogamous marriage
  • How Melissa and I met
  • Learning about problems with the LDS Church
  • Influential books/articles I read
  • My desire to receive personal revelation and my failures and successes
  • My husband Joshua and me receiving revelations in harmony with each other while at the same time my best friend Melissa and me receiving seemingly conflicting revelations
  • Melissa and I giving each other a high five when we concluded we would never have to live polygamy (I used to hate even the concept, which I talk briefly about in this post, and so did she)
  • Melissa’s bad marriage ending and her ending up living with us
  • Mind-blowing, sickening revelations that Melissa was going to marry Joshua
  • Being amazed as I was taught that Joshua could be a fantastic plural husband
  • The First Conversation We Ever Had About It (which I opened by asking, “Joshua, are you going to marry Melissa?”)
  • The Most Awkward Conversation of All Time (the award goes to Joshua and Melissa)
  • Consecrating finances
  • Troubles with teenagers and my moving to a different house (I briefly describe my feelings in this post)
  • The plural wedding
  • Grabbing on to each other and figuring it out
  • Getting used to sharing my husband and parenting alone half the time (the emotions of it are discussed in this post and this post)
  • Keeping it a secret and pretending everything was normal
  • Revealing the truth to loved ones, talked about in this post, this post, and this post
  • First steps away from the LDS Church
  • Being betrayed by family members
  • Meeting other polygamists! (One example is in this post)
  • Getting excommunicated from the Church
  • Finding fellowship elsewhere
  • Buying the Sister Wives house (I wrote this post about what it’s like to live here)
  • My sisterwife inducing lactation in order to help breastfeed our first plural baby
  • Becoming comfortable with the idea of having 3 wives
  • Asking another woman to court us
  • Being betrayed by friends
  • Overcoming challenges in our relationships
  • Finally living together
  • Overcoming the shame of being a polygamist and being proud instead

A little about me personally, in case you were wondering… I love Brazilian jiu jitsu, stargazing, dancing, math, playing the piano, organizing, and reading books to my children.  And I love getting comments and emails from readers of my blog!  Besides the posts linked to above, I tell a few personal stories in this post, this post and this post, and I talk a little about myself and my family in my very first post.

Melissa (my sisterwife) wrote a post about how her teenage children took the news that she was becoming a plural wife, and another one about how her friend took the same news.  She also wrote a post about what it was like being a secret wife and another one about being plural in public.  In this post and this post she shares stories about the co-parenting aspect of being a plural family and some of the adaptations that she’s gone thru in joining our family.  She shares a funny polygamy problem in this post and a nice experience in this post.

Joshua (our husband) wrote about our keeping polygamy a secret and the challenges of coming out to family and friends in his post titled “Hidden Wife, Hidden Life.”  He also wrote a post about the assumption one of our blog readers had about how we must have been raised in polygamy (which we weren’t).  In this post and this post he tells a story of being asked to perform a renewal of vows ceremony.  In this post he tells of an incident that happened between him and our son.  In this post he talks a little about his childhood and in this postthis post a little about his LDS mission.