Sisterwives Ought to Watch Out for Each Other

As I write this, one of my little children is in my sisterwife’s kitchen eating the dinner she made, and one of her little children is in my kitchen eating the dinner I made.  Which would you choose: French Toast or Beef & Broccoli?  

I suppose someone might ask, “Why not just have one kitchen and one dinner?”  There are plenty of answers to that question which I will save for another time.  

For now I want to focus on the fact that it sure is nice to live with someone who has your back all the time.  

Years ago, we had the opportunity to ask a lovely woman if she’d like to be courted (i.e., if she’d like to spend more time with us and pursue joining the family).  My husband Joshua had arranged for her to come over to our house at a specific time.  He was planning to pop the question, as it were (the question being essentially, “May I court you?”).  

The arrangement allowed for my sisterwife Melissa and me to both be present, be part of the conversation.  We were supportive of the idea of Joshua courting her, and we wanted to be a part of the process.  

I had a little baby at the time, and at the crucial time with this woman, my baby needed to be put to bed.  It killed me that I would have to miss the conversation, but I excused myself and retreated to my bedroom with my infant.

I’ll never forget what Melissa did.  I didn’t ask for this and I didn’t expect it.  My sisterwife looked at the situation – me out of the room taking care of the baby, missing all the action, feeling totally left out – and she did what Jesus taught in the Golden Rule: She did what she would want me to do.  

When I had to leave the living room, Melissa left the living room as well.  She came into my bedroom with me to put the baby to bed.  She sat and talked to me while Joshua sat in the living room talking to our female friend.  

In a beautiful act of loyalty and love, Melissa thought to herself, If Charlotte doesn’t get to be part of the conversation, then neither do I.  And she acted on that thought, at her own expense.  

This is the kind of attitude I get to have in my sisterwife.  She is extremely loyal, and she always tries to look at things from my point-of-view.  

I am extremely blessed to have a sisterwife who thinks of me, considers me, loves me, and shows me regularly that we are united, we are on the same team.  

As another example, we occasionally hear of a plural husband who doesn’t split his time evenly between his wives. Melissa gets on a soap box about it, but her rant isn’t about watching out for herself; it’s her watching out for me: “If Joshua came to my bedroom two nights in a row, I’d kick him out and make him go to Charlotte’s bedroom!  What are those women doing that they allow their plural husband to treat their sisterwives unfairly?  They ought to be ashamed!  Sisterwives need to watch out for each other!”  

I could go on and on with illustrations of Melissa’s keeping the Golden Rule over the years.  Loyalty is one of the greatest virtues in plural marriage.  Melissa is a wonderful example of how sisterwives ought to watch out for each other.  

My sisterwife left today

My sisterwife left today.  She took her children, got on an airplane, and flew across the country.  

She’ll be back in a week.  She’s just gone to visit with and help some family members.  

My sisterwife had told me her intention to leave for the airport at a certain time this morning, but because of the snow, she got out the door earlier than planned.  I was surprised when I learned she’d left because she hadn’t said goodbye.  I texted her and lovingly reprimanded her for not letting me give her a proper fare-thee-well.  

Having her gone is weird.  I’m so used to her being here.  Even when we’re not in the same room, I still know she’s there when I need her.  When she’s home, I also know any of my children can also go to her when they need her.  Having her gone takes recalibrating on my part.  But we still text each other and share photos and keep in touch.  

Having Melissa’s children gone is also really weird.  They’re so cute and fun, and I love the way they address me: “Mama Charlotte, can I have batteries for my RC car?”  “Mama Charlotte, can I have some blueberries?”  “Mama Charlotte, will you please get me a drink of water?”  “Mama Charlotte, may I go with you on your walk?”  

My children play with Melissa’s children constantly, so they will have to find other ways to occupy themselves for the next 7 days, especially my youngest son. He sleeps in the boys’ room on Melissa’s side of the house, and often eats breakfast with her and her children before I even realize he’s awake for the day.  

I always miss all of them when they’re gone, and the house doesn’t feel right.  Whenever they get home, even if it’s late at night, we usually have a mini party: hugs and kisses all around, some kind of special beverage or treat, maybe some decorations, lots of stories and catching up.  

Another weird part about having Melissa gone is that Joshua will be with me every night.  That includes me making dinner for him every single day, instead of only half the time.  I suppose I used to do that, but it isn’t something I’m used to anymore.  

In fact, altho the whole family officially only shares one dinner per week (Friday night dinner, for Shabbat), we regularly eat each other’s food or (even more often) the children eat what their “other mother” is serving.  Our diets are going to be more boring for the next few days!  

Melissa didn’t leave us completely empty-handed, however.  Last night she cooked corned beef and cabbage (for St. Patrick’s Day) and served it to all of us, and we ate the leftovers with lunch today.