Tag: compersion

Ideal Sisterwife Relationship

Sisterwives ideally:

  • Have a special kind of relationship
  • Love each other
  • Love themselves
  • Pray for one other
  • Pray with each other
  • Keep the big picture in mind
  • Support each other
  • Accept each other for who they are
  • Correct each other only occasionally, and only when their relationship is good enough to allow the same kind of corrections that friends gently give each other
  • Love each other’s children
  • Feel happy for each other
  • Celebrate with each other
  • Are not envious
  • Mourn with each other
  • Are patient with each other
  • Have a good memory for the good times and a poor memory for the bad times
  • Stand up for each other
  • Respect each other
  • Are excited to see each other
  • Are secure in their husband’s love for them
  • Make the people around them think, Watching that family, I finally understand the desire to live plural marriage.
  • Apologize quickly
  • Help each other
  • Accept help
  • Are friends
  • Are not envious
  • Make each other laugh
  • Smile when the other one comes into the room
  • Watch out for each other’s best interests
  • Are long-suffering with each other
  • Miss each other when they’re not together
  • Cooperate
  • Don’t compete
  • Want what’s best for each other
  • Are grateful for each other
  • Compliment each other
  • Complement each other
  • Are kind to each other
  • Admit when they’re wrong
  • Assume good intentions
  • Trust one another
  • Share some things, but are also free to have their own things
  • Do some things together, but also have their autonomy
  • See things from the other’s point of view
  • Wouldn’t want their husband to be monogamous
  • Speak up for the other
  • Forgive each other freely
  • Don’t keep grudges
  • Are the first to show up and the last to leave
  • Honor each other
  • Have humility
  • Learn from each other
  • Are better for knowing one another
  • Have fun together
  • Share the same goals for the family
  • Keep the Golden Rule
  • Grow old together

Word-of-the-day: Compersion

I’ve been working on a blog post about polygamy and jealousy.  I needed an antonym for jealousy and came across the word compersion.

Compersion means feeling joy when a loved one loves someone else (as contrasted with feeling jealous about their love).

As a plural wife with plenty of opportunities, I’ve considered myself successful when I don’t feel jealous, especially in a situation which in the past might have summoned up negative emotions.  If I would have previously felt jealous about something but this time I don’t, that’s a win, I’ve matured, I can do this, bring it on.  (One of the benefits of polygamy is character growth, after all.)

But this is news to me: the opposite of “jealousy” isn’t simply “lack-of-jealousy”!  Can a plural wife go from feeling jealous to feeling emotionally neutral and from there progress to feeling joy in her husband’s love for his other wives?  The very existence of this word makes it seem possible.  It takes things up a notch.  I just found a higher mountain to climb.

By the way, if you’re like me and haven’t come across “compersion” yet, it might be because it seems to be a relatively new word.  It’s probably not in your dictionary, and the oldest quote on compersion’s Wiktionary page is from 1998, as used in a book called Romantic Jealousy, Causes, Symptoms, Cures.  Now that sounds like an interesting book!