The internet has no shortage of places to discuss reality TV shows such as “Sister Wives”.
My friend hangs out on one such Facebook group. The other day this was posted (by someone I don’t personally know):
My friend texted me before commenting to make sure I was fine with her response, because she wanted to talk about me and my family. This is what she wrote:
On one hand I can see the point-of-view of the original poster, but on the other hand, I believe plural marriage has the potential to be a beautiful way of living. Nothing valuable comes easily. Having lived both monogamy (for 11 years) and polygamy (for 9 years), I say from my experience that I prefer polygamy and wouldn’t choose monogamy. I have no regrets. I am not in an abusive relationship, my children spend lots of time with their father, and I am grateful for my sisterwife and my life wouldn’t be the same without her.
I am grateful to have a family that is a good example of healthy polygamy, as evidenced by my friend’s response. By the way, I’ve known that friend since we were a little monogamous family of 4, so she has seen my family go thru a lot of history and changes.
My friend is right that my family does as much as possible together. We spend family time together every evening (I’ll write more about that soon), we pray together before bed every night, we host fellowship meetings in our home together, we vacation together, we celebrate holidays together, we spend the Sabbath together. Even on a normal weekday full of homeschool, housework, errands, and childcare, we each interact quite a bit. I can see how a polygamous family living in separate houses could fall apart like Kody Brown’s seems to be. But we lived apart for the first 5 years after Melissa joined the family, and we still did what it took to be united.
Speaking of Polygamy... 
Most of what is on the Sister Wives sites on Facebook is hate speech. If they don`t like them fine, but then they need to stop the hateful negative posting. They look like jilted monogamous ex-wives.
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The Kody Brown situation has been on my mind quite a bit! As someone who believes that this lifestyle can be a very good one, it’s discouraging to see one falling apart.
But at the same time, monogamous couples fall apart all the time. So who’s to say that one way is better than another, or that one is wrong? I do believe that not everyone is made to live that way, and it definitely takes a lot of work on all parties. Really, any relationship takes work if it should function. I find Meri’s situation an interesting one. She is still around despite Kody admitting he’s not interested in having a relationship. I think many criticize her, and say that she should value herself more. We live in a culture where it’s fairly easy for a woman to leave her husband, if she wants to. But she knows what she wants, to be in a family built like this, so she stays and is still a part of it. That takes some strength that I think many people do not have.
Thanks for your perspective!
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I have a couple friends who are in plural marriages and they both have solid marriages and happy families. It leaves me with a good point of reference when watching TV shows like sisterwives. Though, I can also understand how some might conclude a negative perspective when it’s mainly based on a polygamous family they’ve watched on TV. It’d be worth for them to remember that part of the reason shows like that have so many seasons is the entertainment factor of chaos; and there are few and far between TV examples of a families that are polygamous and busy enjoying life in a healthy, united way. Sadly, even if one is found AND interested in having their lives followed, they do not make it very long on TV because it lacks the drama networks want to bring in the highest number of viewers. So it’s too bad that the only consideration most people will encounter of polygyny is the negative depiction shown on TV all while stable, healthy polygynous families who can offer a more realistic picture are quietly living their lives in peace.
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