I met Sophie* more than two years ago because of our shared interest in home birth.
I never told her my marital status.
It wasn’t relevant to a relationship.
She was interested in my head covering, so it was a point of conversation which led to sharing somewhat of my beliefs. I shared what we did with Biblical feasts and what, in the context of Mormonism, I have come to believe about them. Sophie was very interested in my points of view regarding religious and spiritual matters, and we had shared child birthing, feeding, and rearing points of view.
I wanted to go over to her home often, but life is just busy, and my plan to teach her how to make challah never got off the ground.
When our Chanukah party came up, and we had a Facebook invite list, I was mentally going through who I wanted to come to it and Sophie popped into my brain.
So, not really thinking about it beyond sharing our feast with her, I sent an invitation via Facebook and she responded positively.
I wasn’t really sure how to confront the polygamy issue, so I decided to wait until she was actually there and tell her face to face on my porch. I’m kind of in a place of just telling people when they are in circumstances that will lead them to find out anyway. It’s probably not the safest but it gives absolute clarity on where they stand, and I get to do it in a take-it-to-the-front format.
However, two hours before the party began, right in the middle of preparations, I got a phone call from my son who happened to be in town. I hadn’t seen him for 9 months. He is in the Army and been deployed to Afghanistan. I really, really want to maintain this relationship for many reasons, but it’s kind of been on sketchy, tenuous threads and definitely on his terms. So I opted to leave the party preparations, visit him, and get back as soon as I reasonably could.
Well, I didn’t give the heads up to Joshua and Charlotte because I thought I could get back early to take care of disclosure.
That didn’t work out.
I got a text from Sophie, asking for the address and I gave it to her.
As time ran later, I began to worry about getting back on time but there wasn’t a definitive point to leave and I finally just said that I needed to leave. I got in my car and checked my messages.
Imagine my absolute relief when the last text message appeared on my screen.
I was floored. There are literally less than a handful of people who have reacted positively upon immediate disclosure. Sophie made #5.
So, I bawled my way home and walked into a huge hug from Sophie and a bunch of laughter and just absolute happiness about how it all went down.